Ande’s bio:

I grew up in a run-down orphanage for girls. That’s where I learned how to clean floors, charm secretaries, and taunt the mean drunk lady who ran the place. Loves: lockets, red dresses, Indian mystics, singing and dancing, and shaggy hobo dogs. Hates: hard knock living. I got adopted by a rich, bald man, bounced the hell outta the orphanage and got to hang with the President. Oh wait…

5 Things that won’t cover up the fact you left your house wearing sweat pants.

5. Coach bag or fancy sunglasses. Just because you paid a lot of money for those things does not mean that you put any sort of effort into not looking like a hobo.
4. McDonald’s bag. You can’t hide behind a McNugget.
3. Crocs! They are not helping your cause, but certainly will add authenticity to your slothlike ensemble.
2. Ed Hardy tee shirt. See number five.
1. Team jersey. By combining sweat pants and a jersey of your favorite sports team you are instantly closing yourself off from a percentage of society who will never sleep with you based on the fact that you would leave your house in an outfit normally reserved for an afternoon spent fondling the remote, eating beef by-products, and not showering.

• Must Watch TV:
  30 Rock
  It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (when in season)
  Housewives of NYC and The Amazing Race