[We scan the headlines so you don't have to.]

• Why is everyone talking about Lily Allen’s new “shhhh” tattoo? No really, why are they? [Scandalist]
• Fish and Sherry Shepherd’s hair(s) survive fire at Tracy Jordan’s apartment. [Popcrunch]
• What do Riverside, Houston, and Sacramento have in common? They are all places people want to live more than Los Angeles. Riverside? Really?? [Buzzfeed]
• 140,000 people follow Lance Armstrong on Twitter. But that’s not the real story. The real story is his stolen bike was found with the help of 140,000 keyboard fondling detectives. [Radar]
• Fear not jobless media types, your chance to work for a bunch of assholes for $10 a day is finally here! Must have disdain for The Hills and French Canadians. [Gawker]

Rachel Bilson might be engaged to that guy from Star Wars. Meh. [I'm Not Obsesssed]